Embracing Stereotypes

A discussion today on the ABNA message boards got me thinking about stereotypes. I'm fairly well-versed in both sides of the stereotype debate: their role in community-building and their detrimental effects, which can lead to prejudice. But, I thought I'd open the floor to you all on the topic. What say you?

First, though, here I am. Sam Elliott reduced to stereotypes.

I am so blonde that: I got stabbed in a shoot-out; I put lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind; I told someone to meet me at the corner of 'walk' and 'don't walk'; I tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order; I tried to drown a fish; they had to burn the school down to get me out of third grade, I tripped over a cordless phone; I took a ruler to bed to see how long I slept; I studied for a blood test... and failed; I thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center; I thought Meow Mix was a record for cats; I thought I needed a ticket to get on Soul Train; and I sold the car for gas money.

[Fiction! Boys II Men was the first CD I owned. I scored very well on my SATs, ACTs, GREs, ABCs (okay, maybe I made that last one up). I graduated Valedictorian of my high school class a year early and with an honors lit degree from a top 50 university.]

As a Southerner/Texan, I'll never say:

• We don't keep firearms in this house.
• You can't feed that to the dog.
• I thought Graceland was tacky.
• No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
• Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
• We're vegetarians.
• Do you think my hair is too big?
• I'll have grapefruit instead of a bowl of gravy.
• Honey, these bonsai trees need watering?
• Deer heads detract from the decor.
• Spitting is such a nasty habit.
• I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
• Trim the fat off that steak.
• Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
• The tires on that truck are too big.
• I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
• Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
• Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
• I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
• Elvis who?
• Checkmate.

[Fiction! I played (and won) my first game of chess when I was in 3rd grade. I LOVE bean sprouts and regularly have granola and yogurt for breakfast. I lived in Italy--don't even joke about coffee. My hair has never been higher than an inch off my scalp of my own accord. And, I think spitters should be slapped.]

And as a woman, I: am crazy, like really bad entertainment, don't understand sports, am impractical, want to settle down, and am like the Incredible Hulk while under the influence of PMS.

[Fiction! The voices tell me I'm as sane as the next woman. I only watch Gossip Girl (or GG, as I like to call it) for the great character development and attractive actors. David Beckham's totally hot! My latest shoe purchase was only $75, and they were on sale!! Aww!!!! Babies!!!! WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!!? That's really mean.... *sniff*]

Ahem.

If you'll excuse me, I need some hot tea to treat this scoffing-induced soar throat of mine and some ibuprofen for the constant eye-rolling.